In November, I had a sobering moment with one of my research mentors in medical school. My mentoring relationships had till then been smooth-sailing– throughout my high school and college career, I found that my role models and teachers were readily available and more than willing to play a catalytic role in my learning and growing. Thus, when I began to struggle in my mentoring relationship with Dr. C, I was surprised. Uncertain whether I should approach Dr. C about it, I kept my concerns to myself.
It wasn’t until November that we had a much-needed conversation in Dr. C’s office. I became aware of how a wrong first impression, unclear expectations from the get-go, and several instances of miscommunication had caused our relationship to falter rather than flourish. I am thankful for the way that both Dr. C and I were able to honestly discuss these faults as learning points and have a renewed sense of optimism for our future interactions. Moreover, the experience of falling short in this mentoring relationship has allowed for an incredible amount of reflection and maturing on my end. Through my experiences, I have compiled several lists of tips and pointers that will be helpful not only in your current mentoring relationships, but also in finding new mentors and determining whether a potential role model is right for you. I hope this article will help enhance your interactions with past, current, and future mentors!
How to Find a Mentor:
- Sometimes, when we are lucky, mentors are assigned to us (such as in the case with my mentor, Dr. R). These mentors are people who we may or may not click with, but either way, make an effort to be on good terms with them!
- In most cases, networking is key. Interested in primary care? Get involved with the Primary Care interest group, which will have connections to faculty and residents. Go to a Family Medicine conference and meet faculty from other institutions. Be bold in asking potential mentors whether they would be free to meet, reaching out in person or over email.
- Ask existing mentors whether they might know someone who could give you advice on an issue or interest you might have. They will often be able to point you towards the right person.
Characteristics of a Good Mentor:
- Make sure your mentor is someone you admire and can look up to, whether personally, professionally or both.
- Don’t pretend to be someone you aren’t just to have connections with a hopeful mentor. The right type of mentor is someone you can be yourself with. This will allow your mentor to tailor advice to you, making their words all the more influential and trustworthy.
- A good mentor has enough time to mentor you. If a potential mentor is too busy to answer your emails or acknowledge your concerns, the mentor-mentee relationship will likely fizzle out in the long run.
- A good mentor is a great listener. He/she will listen actively and provide thoughtful responses to your questions and concerns.
- Your prospective mentor should be willing to actively help you in developing your academic and/or personal life. Ideally, he/she should be excited to help you in both areas.
Tips on How to Get the Most out of a Mentoring Relationship:
- The best type of mentor cares enough to give you constructive feedback to help you on your journey in medicine. Be humble and listen carefully.
- Be clear about your expectations for the relationship from the very beginning. Make sure to discuss with your mentor why you want or need a mentor in a certain area of your life and what you hope they will add to your learning/career in your first meeting. Don’t be afraid to bring up any changes with your mentor in order to make sure that you are both on the same page.
- Reach out when you need help—that’s what your mentor is for! Sometimes, you may need to be persistent; you’ll know which of your mentors are better at responding to emails/texts than others.
- Be persistent but know how busy your mentor is. Respect his/her time.
- Have more than one mentor. Don’t limit yourself as there are various people who can help you grow in different parts of your life.
- Be thankful. Mentors want to make a change in their mentees’ lives and nudge them towards successful futures. Make sure you let them know when they are doing a good job! In the same vein, reach out to past mentors every once in a while to send updates and maintain your relationship. You’ll never know when you may need help or advice from past mentors, and it is a wonderful way to show that you still appreciate them.
- Lastly, make a note about the characteristics and skills of a good mentor from your current mentoring relationships. One day, you will find yourself in your mentor’s shoes, sitting across from a slightly nervous but eager medical student. A good mentor-mentee relationship will prepare you for that day!
I highly recommend the following article and presentation if you are interested in learning more about making the most of a mentoring relationship!
http://dgsomdiversity.ucla.edu/workfiles/lectures/Making%20the%20Most%20of%20Mentors.pdf
https://go.dmacc.edu/witrg/Documents/WITRG_Getting_the_most_out_of_your_mentor.pdf
Featured Image:
“One Person’s Mentoring Experience” by Natalie Henrich by NASA APPEL