mentorship | The Pillbox

Getting the Most out of a Mentoring Relationship

In November, I had a sobering moment with one of my research mentors in medical school. My mentoring relationships had till then been smooth-sailing– throughout my high school and college career, I found that my role models and teachers were readily available and more than willing to play a catalytic role in my learning and growing. Thus, when I began to struggle in my mentoring relationship with Dr. C, I was surprised. Uncertain whether I should approach Dr. C about it, I kept my concerns to myself.

It wasn’t until November that we had a much-needed conversation in Dr. C’s office. I became aware of how a wrong first impression, unclear expectations from the get-go, and several instances of miscommunication had caused our relationship to falter rather than flourish. I am thankful for the way that both Dr. C and I were able to honestly discuss these faults as learning points and have a renewed sense of optimism for our future interactions. Moreover, the experience of falling short in this mentoring relationship has allowed for an incredible amount of reflection and maturing on my end. Through my experiences, I have compiled several lists of tips and pointers that will be helpful not only in your current mentoring relationships, but also in finding new mentors and determining whether a potential role model is right for you. I hope this article will help enhance your interactions with past, current, and future mentors!

How to Find a Mentor:

Sometimes, when we are lucky, mentors are assigned to us (such as in the case with my mentor, Dr. R). These mentors are people who we may or may not click with, but either way, make an effort to be on good terms with them!
In most cases, networking is key. Interested in primary care? Get involved with the Primary Care interest group, which will have connections to faculty and residents. Go to a Family Medicine conference and meet faculty from other institutions. Be bold in asking potential mentors whether they would be free to meet, reaching out in person or over email.
Ask existing mentors whether they might know someone who could give you advice on an issue or interest you might have. They will often be able to point you towards the right person.

Characteristics of a Good Mentor:

Make sure your mentor is someone you admire and can look up to, whether personally, professionally or both.
Don’t pretend to be someone you aren’t just to have connections with a hopeful mentor. The right type of mentor is someone you can be yourself with. This will allow your mentor to tailor advice to you, making their words all the more influential and trustworthy.
A good mentor has enough time to mentor you. If a potential mentor is too busy to answer your emails or acknowledge your concerns, the mentor-mentee relationship will likely fizzle out in the long run.
A good mentor is a great listener. He/she will listen actively and provide thoughtful responses to your questions and concerns.
Your prospective mentor should be willing to actively help you in developing your academic and/or personal life. Ideally, he/she should be excited to help you in both areas.

Tips on How to Get the Most out of a Mentoring Relationship:

The best type of mentor cares enough to give you constructive feedback to help you on your journey in medicine. Be humble and listen carefully.
Be clear about your expectations for the relationship from the very beginning. Make sure to discuss with your mentor why you want or need a mentor in a certain area of your life and what you hope they will add to your learning/career in your first meeting. Don’t be afraid to bring up any changes with your mentor in order to make sure that you are both on the same page.
Reach out when you need help—that’s what your mentor is for! Sometimes, you may need to be persistent; you’ll know which of your mentors are better at responding to emails/texts than others.
Be persistent but know how busy your mentor is. Respect his/her time.
Have more than one mentor. Don’t limit yourself as there are various people who can help you grow in different parts of your life.
Be thankful. Mentors want to make a change in their mentees’ lives and nudge them towards successful futures. Make sure you let them know when they are doing a good job! In the same vein, reach out to past mentors every once in a while to send updates and maintain your relationship. You’ll never know when you may need help or advice from past mentors, and it is a wonderful way to show that you still appreciate them.
Lastly, make a note about the characteristics and skills of a good mentor from your current mentoring relationships. One day, you will find yourself in your mentor’s shoes, sitting across from a slightly nervous but eager medical student. A good mentor-mentee relationship will prepare you for that day!

I highly recommend the following article and presentation if you are interested in learning more about making the most of a mentoring relationship!

http://dgsomdiversity.ucla.edu/workfiles/lectures/Making%20the%20Most%20of%20Mentors.pdf
https://go.dmacc.edu/witrg/Documents/WITRG_Getting_the_most_out_of_your_mentor.pdf

Featured Image:
“One Person’s Mentoring Experience” by Natalie Henrich by NASA APPEL

The Importance of Mentorship

One of the most influential and uplifting things that can happen during medical school is finding someone older, wiser, and more mature than you and being blessed with the opportunity to be mentored by that person.

“I don’t think I can do this anymore.” As the words left my lips, I felt a slight twinge, a burning feeling. Shame. I was one month into medical school and I was already giving up. We were in a 7-week crash-course version of anatomy with lectures, Team Based Learning (TBL) sessions, and dissection in an overwhelming whirl that spun us ever more rapidly as the course progressed. I wasn’t made to memorize the flexors and extensors of the leg and the nerves and vessels of the pelvis. My brain wasn’t wired to take in this much information and properly spit it all back out. If this was medicine, I didn’t think it was for me.

There was a moment of silence on the other line. I sniffed and blew my nose. Dr. R finally spoke.

“Stephanie, tell me more about what you’ve been thinking about.”

Over the next half-hour, I shared with Dr. R my frustrations with the rote memorization of anatomy and the feelings of burn-out I was already experiencing, having come straight from college to medical school. She was patient and understanding, encouraging me with her own experiences. She acknowledged my perspective and in her gentle way, validated it. Suddenly, I did not feel so alone. To my surprise, I found myself filling with hope that I could find success in medical school. I wiped away my tears and ventured a small smile as she made me promise to update her in the next few weeks. When I hung up the phone, I glanced at the time— it was nearly 10:00pm. I had texted Dr. R that I hoped to talk to her sometime soon about something urgent, and she had texted me back immediately. I was so grateful that she didn’t hesitate to approach me during my moment of panic and self-doubt.

If medical school is a marathon, then having a good mentor in medical school is like having a personal coach. He/she is on the sidewalks, cheering you on, letting you know about the hill up ahead, and reminding you of your goals during the long, empty stretches of road. You look over your shoulder and at times notice that your mentor is covered in sweat and dirt and Gatorade too. In fact, your mentor has another race, but he/she is taking time off to watch you run. From sharing about previous mistakes to being an example for how to run a race successfully, your personal coach and mentor becomes a role model throughout your marathon and beyond.

How did I meet Dr. R? In fact, I was assigned to Dr. R’s mentoring group on the very first day of medical school. As part of the Colleges program at Johns Hopkins, the mentoring group (known fondly as a “molecule”) is composed of one faculty member and five medical students in the same year. The faculty member checks in with his/her molecule throughout their four years of medical school and provides guidance, assists with planning, and teaches clinical skills. Dr. R has walked with me through both personal and professional issues—from work-life balance to dealing with poor study habits to encouraging me to embrace my passions. Moreover, I was absolutely touched that she managed to make it out to my wedding last summer. In inviting me to shadow her in the hospital to having my molecule over at her house to meet her husband and children, Dr. R has generously opened her life up as an example of how one might pursue a career in medicine. In doing so, she has become a true life mentor to me.

It is well-known that medical school isn’t easy. Thus, having a guide and avid supporter is invaluable. Mentoring programs are becoming more common nationally, as research has found that having mentorship is an important component of success in academic medicine (Cho et al, 2011). However, the importance of seeking mentorship from the start of medical school isn’t always properly emphasized. Do you currently have an influential mentor? In what ways have he/she supported you? How would you define a “good mentor”?

If you don’t yet have a mentor or your current mentoring relationship isn’t going as you hoped, not to worry! In my next blogpost, I will share some suggestions about how to get started with finding a mentor as well as how to make the most of a mentoring relationship.

Coming up…

“How to Approach a Potential Mentor and Get the Most out of a Mentoring Relationship”

Featured image:
Friends by Hartwig HKD