Categories
Emotion General Medical Humanities Opinion Reflection

Wallflower

Wallflower by Janie Cao
Edited by Mary Abramczuk

Two Novembers ago, I decided to try painting again. At that point, I had been studying medicine for a little over 2 years. After browsing YouTube’s collection of painting tutorials, I found one that seemed realistic for me. It was a still life of roses.

There's a common saying--  "stop and smell the roses." Have you heard of it? It suggests a world that is riddled with roses. I wish that was the world we lived in.

In those years being surrounded by scientific medicine, I think I was learning this: sometimes by the time you arrive, the roses have all been picked. Then it's up to you to create beauty, again, from the ashes.

Wallflower by Janie Cao // 11.24.2016

PC: TonalLuminosity

Categories
General

Announcement: Anonymous Letters Idea?

Hello everyone!

As you have noticed, there wasn’t a blog post scheduled for today, so I wanted to take this opportunity to get your feedback on an idea 🙂

Have y’all* heard of PostSecret? I was wondering what it’d be like if we started a project where we asked people in medicine to write anonymous letters (max 250 words) to their own doctors/healthcare team?

That’s all I’ve got for now. Would love to hear your thoughts! Please comment below or send them to Janie at hongjingcao@gmail.com (would be helpful if you included “MSPress” in subject line). 

Thank you! 🙂

Usually a bit excited about something,
Janie Cao, Blog Associate Editor

P.S. If you ever have blog post submission ideas, please send them directly to me at hongjingcao@gmail.com (with “MSPress” in subject please)

P.S.S. I’m working on “Out There: Part 2”- hopefully will be ready for next Thurs!

*I live in Texas; No, I don’t ride a horse to school.


PC: Grant Hutchinson

Categories
Emotion General Global Health Healthcare Disparities Interview Narrative Reflection

Out There: Part 1 (An Interview Series)

Out There: Part 1

By Janie Cao
Edited by Mary Abramczuk

I met Thanos Rossopoulos through a community service leadership program. As with almost everyone I’ve met, I stereotyped him at first glance (subconsciously, of course). I thought that he was going to be like most other first-year medical students I’d met before—smart, hardworking, and…pretty fresh from college. And guess what? I was only mostly right.

The first time I heard him share his story, we were at a group dinner. I was sitting too far away to hear everything but at the perfect distance to want more. He said something about ‘7 gap years,’ the oil and gas industry, and living in India. That was enough to nag at my curiosity, so I unashamedly asked for an encore. He graciously obliged.

Like many people in their early twenties, Thanos wasn’t quite sure what he wanted to do with his life when college graduation arrived too soon. He remembered that at the time, he’d just wanted to do something exciting, something risky, something “radical.” So when they offered him an engineering job that would put him in the oil rigs of India for one and a half years, he said yes. There, for the first time in his life, Thanos stared into the glare of deprivation. Not really what he wanted, but perhaps what he really needed.

Growing up in Orange County, California, he had been raised in a privileged “bubble,” as he called his sheltered childhood. But he didn’t know how sheltered he was until he stepped foot into India, where he saw mansions and slums coexisting side by side, all in broad daylight. “It took India to force me to face inequality,” Thanos reflected, “and it didn’t sit with me well.” What he made sound like ‘just a slightly uncomfortable feeling’ was in fact the beginning of a tenacious zeal to alleviate human suffering. He was a tad modest.

The impact of those years in India manifested powerfully after he returned home. Whereas in the past, he did not even know to look for inequality, now that was all he could see around him. So, what did Thanos do next? What would you have done?

To be continued…

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Photo Caption: "...Taking a stroll in the morning before my shift on the oil rig. If you look closely out in the distance you see the top part of the oil rig I worked on behind the trees. This was from a small village called Radhapur in the state of West Bengal. Very beautiful place." -Thanos Rossopoulos

Categories
Emotion Empathy Narrative Poetry Reflection

When Love Gives Way to Lies

When Love Gives Way to Lies
By Janie Cao
Edited by Shaun Webb
One evening on my way back from a hospital shift, I saw a woman staggering along the street. Half walking… half falling… It looked like she was trying to get back home after spending some time at the nearby bar.

I didn’t know how I was supposed to respond as an almost-doctor. But it didn’t feel quite right to just leave her be, especially when she was drunk and in the dark, all alone.

By the time I drove to her, she was already in the parking lot of her apartment complex. I got out anyways, just to say “Hi.”

I remember when she turned and looked at me. She paused. And in those moments of silence, I saw heartache.  There was also sadness, anger, and a pain that would leave marks. It didn’t matter that she didn’t know me enough to trust me. There was too much hurt to hide. As I watched her eyes, I remember wanting so much to stop her from feeling that night.

Finally, she chuckled and smiled bitterly. “My husband…” she said. Then she gave me a kiss goodbye.

She never finished her sentence, but I wonder if it had something to do with this: that when a husband hurts his wife, and love gives way to lies, it can simply be called life. I went home after, and cried.

----
based on a true story

Photo credit: Bernard Laguerre



		
Categories
Emotion General Literature Palliative Care Poetry Reflection Spirituality

Smiling Rust

Smiling Rust
By Janie Cao
Edited by Mary Abramczuk
My grandpa used to be a particular quirky smile.

He was once a certain amused sigh.


But nowadays, at visits I pay

He’s a bag of dust— hidden behind marble and rust.


On those days, I am truly glad

That I believe in more than what passes the eye.


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Photo credit:lavagirl66
Categories
Clinical Emotion Empathy General Humanistic Psychology Narrative Palliative Care Poetry Psychiatry Psychology Reflection Spirituality

The Dying Man

The Dying Man
Written by Janie Cao
Edited by Mary Abramczuk
A few years ago, I spent half my day with a dying man. I remember these things about him: his name, his past profession, and that he was dying alone.

I never saw his résumé, the size of his house, or how much money was left in his bank account. I was not curious to know, either. But I bet they seemed significant once upon a time, at a dinner party, maybe. He worked as an engineer.

On that day—the day he died—no one who had cared about those things was there.
I was a stranger, yet I saw his last breaths. It was a curious day.

This world teaches us to do many things. To set goals (S.M.A.R.T ones, in fact) and to meet them. To maximize profit and minimize loss, and to use other people, to our advantage. We learn to build storage houses and efficiently fill them with glorified trash; to talk like we matter, and live like it, too.

Someday, we will all be that dying man. Not fully here, and not quite there; mere wisps of breath. When that day comes, will this world be at your bedside? 
Sometimes, I wonder.




-----
Dedicated to a friend: May you find what you are searching for.
Photo credit: Jörg Lange
Categories
Emotion Empathy General Humanistic Psychology Literature Opinion Patient-Centered Care Psychiatry Psychology Public Health Reflection

Book Review: Loose Girl by Kerry Cohen

Hi MSPress Blog Readers!
……
We didn’t have a blog post scheduled for this week, so here’s a book review instead 🙂 I read this book last week for my Adolescent Sexual Health MPH course and enjoyed it.There’s a lot of interesting tidbits on sexual health issues. I mention two.
Even if you don’t agree with everything the author says, I think memoirs can be helpful in showing you unique life perspectives based on true experiences that you may never have experienced yourself. Furthermore, reading memoirs can get you acquainted with potential resources to help others. Ever heard of bibliotherapy, anyone? 🙂
……
Your Blog Associate Editor,
Janie Cao

Categories
Clinical General Healthcare Costs Law Opinion Patient-Centered Care Primary Care Public Health Reflection

Discontinuity in Care

My resident tries fairly hard to take care of his patients. When he is with them, I catch him paying attention to all sorts of details that he could have easily let slip past. So it made it all the more difficult when I saw him enraged. When he opened up his list of clinic appointments one morning, on the list was a patient he did not want to see. It was not just that she was a new patient to him. It was not just that her problem list went on like a run-on sentence. It was that both were true, and my resident was still expected to see her in only 15 minutes.

While chart reviewing, he learned that the only consistency in this patient’s medical care at our clinic had been a history of inconsistent providers—and based on their notes, none of them had the complete story. “Why am I even seeing her?!” my resident asked rhetorically, as he frantically searched for answers he knew he did not have the time to find. I wondered, too. This visit seemed to benefit no one except the Billing Department, and even that would depend on whether the Medicare reimbursements actually made it through.

That patient’s experience was hardly unique, though. While rotating through various specialties as a medical student, I have met several patients who were passed from one provider to another. Maybe the provider had to switch services. Maybe they left the institution for better opportunities elsewhere. The reasons were myriad. Stories like those suggest that continuity of care may still only be a priority in primary care literature.

I think one reason for this reality is a lack of incentives to keep doctors and patients together. In any field, including medicine, we see money driving people’s attention and vice versa. Since our country has historically kept primary care on the back burner, there is little evidence to believe that practical incentives for continuity of care will spontaneously appear in the near future.

So, for the primary care fans out there, it might be worth it to start speaking up.

 

Photo credit: Norbert von der Groeben/Stanford School of Medicine, posted by National Center for Advancing Translational Sciences